I have personally addressed 250,000+ children and teens, from K-12 in my earlier years of work. The absolute, positively WORST advice parents can give their child or teen is “Don’t talk to strangers!” Why?

1) First and foremost, they see “YOU” do it all the time, mom and dad! So your example is, “do as I ‘say’, but not as I ‘do’.” How long and how well do you think that will work out before your kids and/or teens call you on the carpet, now with no logical follow-up to your response?

2) Second, you cannot socially function in society without “talking to strangers”. So you’re actually encouraging your child or teen to be anti-social. How long and how well do you think that will work out much like the above?

3) Third, “your idea” of a stranger and “their idea” of a stranger could not be further apart in most cases.

As this humorous meme I pulled off Facebook today astutely illustrates, another child or teen or young adult their own age will often NOT be perceived as a threat — a “stranger”. Children have been used to lure children, teens to lure teens, college-age students to lure college-age students, et al. Do you remember the story of Natalie Holloway in Aruba as one chilling example?

The whole idea of a “lure” is something that does not “appear” to pose a threat. This is why women and the elderly are very effective accomplices to such crimes, as no one would suspect them of being in on such an act.

I understand parent’s concerns, I do. But simply rattling off some half-baked proverb hoping that will keep your kids or teens safe is naive at-best and negligent at-worst. “Education” is what is needed, and that doesn’t happen in a soundbite. It happens through instruction, sometimes initial, but always best if continual. This is where open lines of communication between children/teens and their parents is paramount. And this is where parents themselves must become more educated, more savvy to be able to foster such conversations at home, not relying on the schools to do so.

You are the best source for this training. After all, you are hardly a “stranger” to them.

Jeff McKissack, Founder
Trouble Spotters

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